What is “personality” anyway? According to www.dictionary.com personality can be defined as:
- The quality or condition of being a person.
- The totality of qualities and traits, as of character or behavior, that are peculiar to a specific person.
- The pattern of collective character, behavioral, temperamental, emotional, and mental traits of a person.
- Distinctive qualities of a person, especially those distinguishing personal characteristics that make one socially appealing.
- A person as the embodiment of distinctive traits of mind and behavior.
- An offensively personal remark. Often used in the plural: Let's not engage in personalities.
- The distinctive characteristics of a place or situation: furnishings that give a room personality.
In essence, your personality is a big part of what makes you who you are, different and distinct from every other person in the world.
Where does personality come from? It is generally believed that we all have a genetic predisposition to personality traits that are developed in varying degrees by the environment in which we grow up. Nature versus nurture? In part, both. It is believed that personality is stable and, barring an emotional trauma, will remain stable throughout our lives.
Most personality theorists identify four primary personality dimensions:
Every individual functions somewhere on a continuum in each of these dimensions. Each can also be broken down further into two areas:
- Independence: Competitiveness (how much we want to win) and Assertiveness (how important it is to get our point across)
- Conscientiousness: Conventional (whether we think there’s a right way and a wrong way) and Organized (how much we need to structure and plan)
- Extroversion: Group-Oriented (the degree to which we need to be with people) and Outgoing (how interactive we’ll be when we’re with people)
- Stability: Poised (how focused and composed we are when there’s tension) and Relaxed (how comfortable we feel about it when there’s tension)
How does this affect the direction we turn when we’re at a red light?
- Independence.
- Cooperative versus Competitive.
- High competitive. “I’m going to turn whichever way I want to turn. It will be the direction that I think will get me the farthest and put me in the best position for whatever I want to do next. I’m going to win and come out on top no matter what direction I turn.”
- Mid competitive. “I want to make sure I make the right turn and succeed at whatever I do, but I won’t push anybody off the road in the process. It will be important that whatever way I go will also benefit the whole group.”
- Low competitive (High cooperative.) “The direction I want to turn isn’t important. Whatever I do I’ll do for the group and not for myself. Therefore, I need to know which way you think I should turn.”
- Submissive versus Assertive.
- High assertive. “Whatever way I go, you’ll know exactly what I think about all my options and what I think about your suggestions. It’s more important to me to tell you what I think than to avoid conflict if we disagree about which way to go.”
- Mid assertive. “I may or may not share my thought process with you. If I really disagree with what you’re telling me and it’s a really important aspect of the decision I’ll tell you what I think. If we disagree, it will have to be a really important issue for me to tell you what I think.”
- Low assertive (High submissive.) “Getting along is much more important than expressing my opinion. Whatever you tell me, I won’t tell you what I think about it.”
- Conscientiousness.
- Conventional versus Innovative.
- High conventional. “I have to go exactly the way I’ve always gone. I don’t see why I have to go any other way – especially when this way has worked for so long.”
- Mid conventional. “I like going the way I’ve always gone, but apparently it won’t work this time. I better see what I can still do the same way and what needs to be done differently.”
- Low conventional (High innovative.) “I’ll just try this new way and see where I end up.”
- Reactive versus Organized.
- High organized. “First I’ll do this. Then I’ll try that. Third I’ll …”
- Mid organized. “I have a general plan about which way to go and I’ll fill in the blanks as I go along.”
- Low organized (High reactive.) “I’ll just figure out which way to turn when I get there.”
- Extroversion.
- Self-Sufficient versus Group-Oriented.
- High group-oriented. “I need the support and encouragement of others and need to be around others to help me think through what I need to do.”
- Mid group-oriented. “I’ll use others as a source of support to bounce off some ideas I get when I think about things on my own.”
- Low group-oriented (High self-sufficient.) “I’ll figure it out by myself. I really don’t need anybody else’s input.”
- Reserved versus Outgoing.
- High outgoing. “I’ll talk about which way to turn with anybody who will listen.”
- Mid outgoing. “I’ll talk about this with select friends and share what’s going on just with them.”
- Low outgoing (High reserved.) “I don’t really want to talk about it with anybody.”
- Stability.
- Restless versus Poised.
- High poised. “I am completely unruffled and undistracted by needing to figure out which way to go. It’s just not a big deal.”
- Mid poised. “I can remain focused even when in this stressful situation, but I know it’s stressful.”
- Low poised (High restless.) “I notice every little thing, even if it isn’t happening to me personally. Stressful situations are very distracting to me and I have a hard time concentrating. When it is happening to me, it’s hard to remain focused.”
- Excitable versus Relaxed.
- High relaxed. “Tension and stress don’t bother me at all. I just deal with it and move on. I don’t lose any sleep over it.”
- Mid relaxed. "Stressful situations make me a little anxious. I may lose a little sleep over it but I’m usually able to work around it.”
- Low relaxed (High excitable.) “I feel very anxious when there’s a stressful situation. I can’t relax until well after the situation has ended.”
Your personality affects every aspect of your life, from how you approach change to how you interact with others; how you handle stress to how much you want to win. Understanding how your personality functions can help you be able to better appreciate what will be easy for you and what may present more of a challenge. To get a better understanding of your personality functioning check out the TotalView personality assessment.

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