by Lisa Whaley 2005

Other people always perceived me as the “poster girl” for success.  By their standards I had the makings of the “American Dream.”  I was a Vice President at IBM, had a happy marriage and two beautiful daughters, owned several lovely homes, fancy cars, and had traveled to wonderful exotic places.  I, too, thought I had “arrived.”

In September of 2002, seemingly without warning my journey of personal and professional triumph took a quick detour to utter anguish and desperation. Actually, yellow caution lights had been flashing as warnings, but I ignored them and with blinders still attached speeded down a narrow dead-end road toward destruction -- not even looking for an escape.

During what seemed like the “perfect storm” of life, I found myself dealing with an out-of-control teenager drowning in a world of sex, drugs and alcohol; a marriage collapsing under pressure; a terminally ill father; and my own serious illnesses.  I experienced a level of despair I never thought possible and ultimately attempted what previously was unthinkable – suicide.

I calmly walked out of my house and into my car in my closed garage.  I started the engine and sat there, waiting for carbon monoxide to fill my lungs and peacefully take me away.  It was the defining moment of my life.  I realized that my soul was in the lost and found and I decided then and there that I was going to reclaim it.  I knew I couldn’t do it alone and I knew that more than ever I needed to reach out for help without feeling ashamed or embarrassed. I turned the engine off and started my journey by calling the Employee Assistance Program at my work and talking with a counselor.

In examining my life I realized that I had violated many of my own core principles.  I had lost perspective on my priorities and was caught up in a world of material possessions.  I was so busy trying to find success that I lost sight of what really mattered most in my life.  It took me a long time to realize that no amount of success, money or material possessions can bring me happiness…it has to come from deep within.  Most importantly, I discovered that I had to define success for myself and not let society or other people define it for me.

On my journey to reclaim my soul, I recognized the importance of getting healthy physically, emotionally and spiritually.   When we have those components of our lives clicking, we are simply unstoppable.

I reclaimed my soul from the lost and found and made the right turn on red by having the courage to make significant changes in my life.  What changes did that entail?

• I walked away from my corporate executive job and started my own business so that I could have the flexibility to build a career around my life versus building my life around my career as I had done for too many years.
• I stopped trying to live up to everyone else’s perception or expectations of me.  
• I used tough love with my troubled daughter and got her the help that she needed.  I learned to be a better parent instead of trying to be my daughter’s best friend.  She didn’t need a friend – she needed a mother.

Life is full of joy and challenge. Although the convenience of modern technology has simplified our lives on many levels, it has increased the pace of work and life, creating additional stress on how, when and where we do what we do. Add to that the realities of our global world that cause new concerns, and it is easy to see just how soon we can reach our threshold as it can all get to be too much.

However, we should remember that we do not have to do it alone. When we reach those unexpected or overwhelming challenges in life, we should be reminded that through prayer, the support of others, and some easily applied strategies, we can find a way to focus on the truly important, sift through the anxiety, and go forward as productive individuals.

When we approach the red lights of life, we need to give thought to the consequences of the choices that we are making and ensure that we are comfortable with them.  With every choice there is a consequence.  The challenge we all face is to have the strength and courage to make the right turn on red.

I’m so glad that I made that turn and can honestly say that I am happier and healthier than I’ve ever been.

 THANK YOU, LISA, FOR SHARING YOUR STORY!

Be sure to check out Lisa's latest book: Reclaiming My Soul From the Lost and Found, (ISBN 1-4140-7230-9)

Read more about Lisa by visiting her web site: www.lifeworksynergy.com.