"You're Fired"

Marilyn’s Story

© 2004 Marilyn Havner Walker, MS

It’s inevitable.  The more rushed you are, the more delays you encounter.  You are late for an important meeting.  From the time you wake up it seems that everything you do takes twice as long.  You jump in the car and without fail you hit every red light.  Finally you hit one that just seems stuck on red.  You grow impatient.  The other drivers begin honking their horns.  You wait.  The honking gets louder and more insistent.  Finally, you’ve had enough – you turn right on red.

Red lights happen.

If you drive enough, you learn the sequence of the lights.  And as sure as the day is long, you can predict with a fair amount of certainty the intersections where you will always get the red light. 

City streets aren’t the only places where there are red lights. The career paths of life are filled with red lights.  For some of us, it might be the birth of our first child.  For others it might be a new job or the unexpected assumption of added responsibilities.  It might be our kids starting school or graduating.  It might even be the “empty nest,” or the birth of a first grandchild. 

Sometimes these red lights just seem to pop up out of nowhere.  It might be a divorce or a marriage.  It might be an illness, even a death of a close friend or family.  It might be an accident or injury.  It might be an unanticipated layoff or job termination. 

Unfortunately there are no maps to help us anticipate these red lights …and that is when you need to know how to Make The Right Turn On RedTM.

I could have used a map in November, 2003.  As the director of a non-profit social service agency specializing in adoption, I was completing a major marketing project that I had created and worked on for the better part of a year. 

I was only a week away from dotting the i’s and crossing the t’s.  The national office was so “pleased with the direction” I was taking that they contributed $18,000 to the campaign. The national office had previously selected me to serve a two-year term on a national advisory council.  My performance objectives were clearly outlined and I was meeting them.  I definitely wasn’t among the 65% of American workers who believe they don’t receive recognition in the workplace, or the 40% who don’t understand how they are evaluated and measured. (Source: WorkUSA®2004: An Ongoing Study of Employee Attitudes and Opinions)

Then out of the blue, a yellow light appeared.  The president of the local board of directors approached me saying they had “been hearing some things.” 

This was a total surprise.  I learned after the fact that a few members of the staff were not pleased with my approach and they complained directly to the board.  Rather than confront me directly or defer to my superior, the board chose to sit on the complaints.  The light was flashing yellow, and I didn’t even know it.

I continued working to close the campaign.  The only comments I heard from those in the national office were encouraging and positive, and yet the light was just about to turn red.   

The first day after the campaign ended, my job came to a screeching halt.  The light was RED!  The message was clear – “be-out-of-your-office-by-the-end-of-the-day.”  I was devastated. 

My first job offer came within the first two weeks.  I didn’t want to jump at the first opportunity, so I passed.  I did the typical out-of-work activities: surfed the Internet for work-related sites, honed my interview skills, submitted resumes, and networked with friends and colleagues.  (I also ate a lot of chocolate and discovered the pleasure of watching ER and Jag in the middle of the day.)  For a second time in my life I considered starting my own business. But with two children still at home, it didn’t seem to be the right time.  Three months past and I was still stuck on red. 

With no other offers coming in, I jumped at an opportunity to join another non-profit agency.  This job didn’t “feel” right, but fear – and responsibility as a mother – won out.

With my start date a week away, I was offered another job – one that I had wanted for seven years.  And I had contact with an old acquaintance.  When this friend heard my story, and learned about the business I thought about starting, he referred me to a business colleague of his.  This was a man who had made a major career change nine years earlier when he founded an employee assessment and consulting firm. This had been my business dream too.  My friend recommended I give this man a call before postponing my dream job for a second time.

Ironically or coincidentally, I learned when I called that he had just made the decision to add another consultant to his team.  Now faced with two very desirable opportunities, I rescinded my acceptance at the non-profit.

That was the easy part.  Choosing between the other two was one of those pivotal moments.   One job included the security of a salary and benefits, the other had the insecurity of working on a commission basis.  I knew I’d love the one job, but always dreamed about having my own business.  The deciding factor: If I didn’t take the opportunity to work as a consultant, I’d always wonder if I made the right decision.  There really was only one choice.  I made the right turn on red.

I recently shared this story at a Clemson University-sponsored Professional Development for Women conference.  An attendee approached me afterward and said, “Wow.  Look at what a difference a year makes.”  She was right.  What a difference a year makes. 

The top three things that made the difference?

• Doing it anyway.  Waiting for motivation doesn’t get things done.  Doing it anyway does.  There are always tasks we just don’t enjoy.  When we’re stuck at a red light sometimes we just need to start moving – in any direction – in order to figure out how to make the right turn.  Such is the case with sending resumes, networking, making phone calls or any other task that is just not enjoyable.

• Having a plan, but not ignoring my gut.  Despite my sixth sense telling me to pass on the non-profit agency, I accepted it anyway.  But it didn’t feel right….and I didn’t even start.  Working on commission is not easy but it is exhilarating.  I love what I’m doing and that is the best benefit of all.

• Knowing it’s all up to me.  Nobody else is going to live my life except me.  Nobody else is responsible for my success or failure.  While I didn’t believe the method of termination was “fair,” I couldn’t ignore the fact that there were things I had done that made that board want to get rid of me.  I needed to figure out what they were so I didn’t repeat them.  Whatever way I turned was also entirely up to me. 

I started working as a consultant about six months ago.  It has been so much fun that I often have to force myself to stop “working” at 10:00 PM.  Even then, my mind won’t shut off and I can’t sleep.  I once had a job that I loved so much it didn’t feel like work.  Having that feeling once again just reinforces that I made the right turn on red.

Life certainly has its share of red lights.  No matter how much we try to run them or avoid them, we continue to be stopped by them.  What we do at the lights will determine the career paths we take …and don’t take.  And we need to figure out how to Make The Right Turn On RedTM.

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This article appeared in www.BusinessWomanPA.com